First Prayers

Many people want to pray long before they are sure there is anyone listening. They feel foolish. They do not know the words. They wonder whether God hears people like them, or whether prayer is only for people who already believe.

This paper is for them. It is also for the person who has just come to Christ and finds that prayer, which he expected to come naturally, feels awkward and thin.

The Bible is full of first prayers

The good news is that the Bible does not only tell us to pray. It shows us people praying, often for the first time, often badly, often in desperation. A tax collector who could not lift his eyes. A father who believed and doubted in the same breath. A fisherman sinking in a storm. A thief dying beside Jesus. A blind beggar shouting over a crowd. And a whole book, the Psalms, of men pouring out fear, guilt, anger and grief to God.

These were not polished prayers. Most of them were a single sentence. Some of them were cries. And God heard them.

What this paper is

This is a study, not a set of magic words. It works from the King James Bible first, because that is where these prayers are recorded, and it quotes each one exactly. Where Christians of earlier centuries wrote wisely about prayer, their words are quoted from their own books.

It gives you prayers to pray, but it will keep reminding you that no form of words saves anyone or forces God's hand. The prayers in this paper are of two kinds. Some are the words of Scripture, quoted exactly and cited. Others are plain prayers written for this paper, built on those Scriptures, offered as examples and nothing more. You can pray them, change them, or set them aside and speak in your own words. God is not listening for the right script. He is looking at the heart.

Seven parts follow. Part 1 explains what prayer is and is not. Part 2 gives twelve biblical prayers for seekers. Part 3 gives prayers from the dark places. Part 4 is about the prayer of coming to Christ. Part 5 walks through the Lord's Prayer. Part 6 gives first prayers for a new believer. Part 7 is a forty-day path of reading and prayer.

A word about me

This is my story, in the words I have told it before:

So I swung back hard to religion, said the rosary every night, and still felt nothing. Eventually I gave up and called myself an atheist. I decided to read the Bible for one reason: to disprove it, so I'd have an excuse to stop going to church for good. It did the opposite. Genesis gripped me. In Matthew I read Jesus' own words and felt the weight of my own sin for the first time. I wept at worship music I'd never have been caught listening to. Then one day I got on my knees and prayed: "Jesus, if you are real, show me — and I'll serve you."

Saying prayers is not the same as praying. The rest of the story is at kylelauriano.com/about.

A note on Scripture: every verse here is quoted from the King James Bible. You can read it free in the 1611 Reader at kylelauriano.com/library. A KJV with Strong's Concordance is the best study tool most people will ever own.

This part matters because people bring all kinds of ideas to prayer: that it is a technique for getting things, a way of calming yourself down, a ritual that works if done correctly. The Bible's idea is simpler and far greater.

The words

The Old Testament's ordinary word for prayer (Strong's H8605, tephillah) is defined as "intercession, supplication," and comes from a root (H6419, palal) meaning, among other things, "to intercede, pray."¹ The New Testament's most common verb for praying (Strong's G4336, proseuchomai) means "to pray to God, i.e. supplicate, worship."² Another word, deesis (G1162), means simply "a petition."³

Prayer, in other words, is asking. It is worship too, and thanks, and confession. But at its root it is a creature speaking to his Creator, a child asking his Father, a beggar asking the King.

Two classic definitions

The Westminster Shorter Catechism, written in 1647, puts it this way:

Prayer is an offering up of our desires unto God, for things agreeable to his will, in the name of Christ, with confession of our sins, and thankful acknowledgment of his mercies.⁴

John Bunyan, writing from Bedford gaol in 1662, where he was imprisoned for preaching without a licence, defined prayer as "a sincere, sensible, affectionate pouring out of the heart or soul to God, through Christ."⁵ Sincere: meant. Sensible: aware of what you are saying and of your need. Affectionate: with feeling, not by rote. Pouring out: not a performance but an emptying of the heart.

That phrase echoes the Psalms: "Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us" (Psalm 62:8).

Pray what is really in you

C. S. Lewis, in a book of letters on prayer published shortly after his death, put his finger on the most common mistake: "It is no use to ask God with factitious earnestness for A when our whole mind is in reality filled with the desire for B." And then: "We must lay before Him what is in us, not what ought to be in us."⁶

This is good news for a seeker. You do not have to pretend to a faith you do not have, or a peace you do not feel, or a goodness you know you lack. You can tell God the truth. The Psalms do it on almost every page: "I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble" (Psalm 142:2).

What prayer is not

It is not performance. "And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men" (Matthew 6:5). Jesus told His followers to go into a room, shut the door, and speak to the Father in secret (Matthew 6:6).

It is not vain repetition. "But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking" (Matthew 6:7). Jesus was not forbidding asking twice. He Himself prayed the same words three times in Gethsemane. He was forbidding the idea that words repeated many times build up a force that compels God to act, or that the length of a prayer earns an answer. And He gave the reason: "for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him" (Matthew 6:8).

Steve Kang told his story on The King Is Coming Show (TKIC #49): he chanted eight hours a day to reach nirvana, and, in his own telling, woke up in hell instead. Watch it in his own words: youtube.com/watch?v=46SP1FgXfbY Steve's account of what happened to him, shared as his testimony — weigh it for yourself.

It is not emptying the mind. Many spiritual practices teach people to clear their minds, repeat a sound, or look inward for the divine. That is not biblical prayer. Biblical prayer is speaking with understanding to a Person who is not you. Paul said, "I will pray with the spirit, and I will pray with the understanding also" (1 Corinthians 14:15). Biblical meditation, likewise, fills the mind with God's word rather than emptying it (Psalm 1:2).

It is not a formula. No set of words saves a person or guarantees an answer. Words matter because they carry the heart; they have no power apart from it.

Prayer comes to God through Christ

Christian prayer is addressed to God the Father, through Jesus Christ the Son, by the help of the Holy Ghost. Jesus said, "Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he will give it you" (John 16:23). Praying "in Jesus' name" is not a password tacked on at the end. It means coming to God on the ground of who Jesus is and what He has done, because we have no standing of our own. "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus" (1 Timothy 2:5). And He "ever liveth to make intercession for them" that come to God by Him (Hebrews 7:25).

When we do not know how to pray, God helps: "Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered" (Romans 8:26).

Does God hear a seeker?

This is an honest question, and the Bible gives an honest answer.

There are verses that warn us. The man born blind, defending Jesus to the Pharisees, said, "Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth" (John 9:31). Proverbs says, "He that turneth away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer shall be abomination" (Proverbs 28:9). Isaiah told Israel, "But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear" (Isaiah 59:2).

These verses are about people who cling to sin and refuse to listen to God while still asking Him for things. God is not a servant to be summoned by people who have no intention of obeying Him. "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me" (Psalm 66:18).

But the same Bible shows God hearing sinners who turn to Him. The tax collector who prayed, "God be merciful to me a sinner," went home justified (Luke 18:13-14). Cornelius, a Gentile soldier who did not yet know the gospel, was told by an angel, "Thy prayers and thine alms are come up for a memorial before God" (Acts 10:4). God then sent Peter to tell him about Christ. And the promises are wide: "The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth" (Psalm 145:18). And through Jeremiah: "And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:13).

So the honest answer is this. God does not promise to grant the wishes of someone who wants His gifts without Him. But He has promised to hear the one who seeks Him, who asks for mercy, who wants the truth. The first prayer a seeker should pray is not for things. It is for God Himself: to know Him, to see the truth, to be forgiven.

This part matters because these are the prayers God has already put in our mouths. Each was first prayed by a real person in a real need. Each is given here with its setting, what it teaches, and a plain prayer built on it for today.

1. For mercy

"And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner." (Luke 18:13)

The setting. Jesus told this parable "unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others" (Luke 18:9). A Pharisee stood and thanked God he was not like other men. A tax collector, a man his whole society regarded as a traitor and a thief, stood at a distance and beat his chest.

What it teaches. Seven words, and Jesus said this man "went down to his house justified" (Luke 18:14). It is the most basic prayer there is, and perhaps the most important. It claims nothing but need.

Lord God, I have nothing to bring You. I am a sinner. Be merciful to me.

2. For faith when you have doubts

"And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." (Mark 9:24)

The setting. A father brought his son, tormented by an evil spirit, to Jesus' disciples, who could not help. When Jesus came, the father said, "if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us" (Mark 9:22). Jesus replied that all things are possible to him that believes. The father's answer came out in tears.

What it teaches. Belief and doubt can live in the same heart. Jesus did not send this man away for not having enough faith. He healed his son. The prayer is honest about both halves, and asks God for the faith it lacks.

Lord Jesus, part of me believes and part of me does not. I bring You both. Help my unbelief.

3. For rescue

"But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me." (Matthew 14:30)

The setting. Peter had stepped out of the boat to walk to Jesus on the water. When he looked at the wind instead of at Jesus, he began to sink. "And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him" (Matthew 14:31).

What it teaches. Three words, prayed while sinking. There was no time for anything longer. Jesus' hand came immediately. This is a prayer for anyone going under: in sin, in fear, in a situation too big for them.

Lord, I am sinking. Save me.

4. For cleansing

"And, behold, there came a leper and worshipped him, saying, Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean." (Matthew 8:2)

The setting. Lepers in Israel lived outside the community and were ceremonially unclean. No one touched them. This man came and knelt.

What it teaches. He did not doubt Jesus' power, only His willingness. Jesus answered both: "And Jesus put forth his hand, and touched him, saying, I will; be thou clean" (Matthew 8:3). He touched the untouchable. For anyone who feels too dirty to approach God, this is the prayer, and that is the answer.

Lord Jesus, I know You can make me clean. I am asking You to be willing. Make me clean.

5. For mercy, louder than the crowd

"And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out, and say, Jesus, thou son of David, have mercy on me." (Mark 10:47)

The setting. Bartimaeus was a blind beggar sitting by the road out of Jericho. "And many charged him that he should hold his peace: but he cried the more a great deal, Thou son of David, have mercy on me" (Mark 10:48). Jesus stopped and asked what he wanted. "The blind man said unto him, Lord, that I might receive my sight" (Mark 10:51).

What it teaches. Keep asking, even when others tell you to be quiet. And be specific. Jesus knew what Bartimaeus needed, but He asked him to say it. Afterward Bartimaeus "received his sight, and followed Jesus in the way" (Mark 10:52).

Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me. I want to see. Open my eyes.

6. For a place in His kingdom

"And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom." (Luke 23:42)

The setting. Two criminals were crucified with Jesus. One mocked Him. The other rebuked his companion, admitted "we receive the due reward of our deeds" (Luke 23:41), and turned to Jesus with this request.

What it teaches. He had no time to do any good works, and he knew he deserved his sentence. He believed that the dying man next to him was a King with a kingdom. Jesus answered, "Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise" (Luke 23:43).

Lord Jesus, I deserve what my sins have earned. You are the King. Remember me.

7. For direction

"And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? And the Lord said unto him, Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do." (Acts 9:6)

The setting. Saul of Tarsus was on the road to Damascus to arrest Christians when the risen Christ stopped him. His first question was, "Who art thou, Lord?" (Acts 9:5). His second was this one.

What it teaches. It is a prayer of surrender. Saul had been doing what he wanted, sincerely and violently, in God's name. Now he asked what Jesus wanted. The answer was only the next step, not the whole plan.

Lord, I have been running my own life. What do You want me to do? Show me the next step.

8. For understanding

"Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law." (Psalm 119:18)

The setting. Psalm 119 is the longest chapter in the Bible, a meditation on God's word in 176 verses.

What it teaches. The Bible is not like other books. You can read it with your eyes and not see what it says. This is the prayer to pray before you open it.

Lord, I am about to read Your word. Open my eyes. Show me what is there, and show me Yourself.

9. To be searched

"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23-24)

The setting. David wrote this psalm about God's complete knowledge of him: there is nowhere to hide from God, and nothing about us He does not already know.

What it teaches. Instead of hiding from that knowledge, David invites it. This is a brave prayer. It asks God to show you what is wrong in you, so that you can turn from it.

God, You know me already. Search me. Show me what is wrong in me, and lead me in Your way.

10. For a clean heart

"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me." (Psalm 51:1-3)

The setting. The title over this psalm in the King James Bible tells us it was written after the prophet Nathan confronted David over his adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband (2 Samuel 11–12).

What it teaches. David does not excuse himself. "Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight" (Psalm 51:4). He asks for more than forgiveness: "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10). And he knows what God wants: "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise" (Psalm 51:17).

God, I have sinned against You, and I will not pretend I have not. Wash me. Make my heart clean, and give me a new spirit.

11. To be turned

"I have surely heard Ephraim bemoaning himself thus; Thou hast chastised me, and I was chastised, as a bullock unaccustomed to the yoke: turn thou me, and I shall be turned; for thou art the LORD my God." (Jeremiah 31:18)

The setting. Jeremiah hears the northern tribes of Israel, long scattered for their idolatry, lamenting their stubbornness.

What it teaches. Sometimes you know you should turn and find you cannot. This prayer asks God to do the turning. It is not an excuse for doing nothing. It is an honest admission that the power to repent is itself a gift.

Lord, I want to turn and I am not able. Turn me, and I will be turned.

12. For the only one who has the words

"Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life." (John 6:68)

The setting. After a hard sermon, many of Jesus' followers left. Jesus asked the twelve whether they would go too (John 6:67).

What it teaches. Peter did not understand everything, but he had seen enough to know there was nowhere else to go. This is a prayer for the seeker who has tried other roads and found them empty.

Lord Jesus, I have tried other things. None of them held. Where else would I go? You have the words of eternal life.

This part matters because many people first try to pray in the worst moments of their lives, and they assume their anger, grief or despair disqualifies them. The Psalms say otherwise. A large part of the Bible's prayer book is made of complaint, protest and tears.

If you are in danger

If you are thinking about ending your life, stop reading and call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or call 911 if you are in immediate danger. Prayer and a phone call are not rivals. Make the call, and pray too.

When God seems absent

"How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me?" (Psalm 13:1-2)

Four times "how long". David is not polite here. He feels forgotten, and he says so. But the psalm does not stay there. By the end: "But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the LORD, because he hath dealt bountifully with me" (Psalm 13:5-6). Nothing in the psalm says his circumstances changed. What changed was where he looked.

Lord, how long? I feel forgotten. I am telling You the truth about how this feels. Help me trust Your mercy anyway.

When you feel forsaken

"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?" (Psalm 22:1)

These are the words Jesus Himself cried from the cross: "And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46). The Son of God prayed a psalm of abandonment. If you feel forsaken, you are not praying wrongly when you say so. You are praying words He prayed.

When you are cast down

"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance." (Psalm 42:5)

The psalmist talks to himself here. He does not deny that he is cast down. He questions his own despair and points himself toward hope. Psalms 42 and 43 repeat that refrain three times, which tells us it did not work once and for all. He had to keep saying it.

When there is no answer yet

Psalm 88 is the darkest prayer in the Bible. "O LORD God of my salvation, I have cried day and night before thee" (Psalm 88:1). And: "For my soul is full of troubles: and my life draweth nigh unto the grave" (Psalm 88:3). It ends without resolution: "Lover and friend hast thou put far from me, and mine acquaintance into darkness" (Psalm 88:18).

Why is a psalm like that in the Bible? Perhaps for this reason: so that no one in the dark would think they were the first, or that praying from the dark is faithless. Notice how the psalm begins: "O LORD God of my salvation." Even at the bottom, he is still talking to God, and still calling Him his salvation.

Out of the depths

"Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O LORD." (Psalm 130:1)

This psalm moves from depth to forgiveness: "If thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand? But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared" (Psalm 130:3-4). Jonah prayed from the worst place a man has ever prayed: "I cried by reason of mine affliction unto the LORD, and he heard me; out of the belly of hell cried I, and thou heardest my voice" (Jonah 2:2).

No place is too deep for prayer.

When you are angry with God

Job lost his children, his wealth and his health in a short space of time. At first he said, "the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD" (Job 1:21). Later his words grew bitter, and he argued his case before God at length. God answered him out of the whirlwind (Job 38–41), not with an explanation but with Himself. Job's anger did not end the conversation. It was part of it. And in the middle of it, Job said one of the most defiant sentences of faith ever spoken: "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him" (Job 13:15).

If you are angry at God, tell Him. He already knows. Bringing your anger to Him is better than walking away with it.

God, I am angry. I do not understand what You are doing, and I am telling You so. I am not walking away. Answer me.

When you are grieving

At the grave of His friend Lazarus, knowing He was about to raise him, "Jesus wept" (John 11:35). Grief is not a lack of faith. And God keeps account of every tear: "Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?" (Psalm 56:8).

Lord, I am grieving. You wept at a grave. Be near me in this one.

When everything fails

The prophet Habakkuk faced the destruction of his nation. He prayed:

"Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation." (Habakkuk 3:17-18)

That is not a prayer for an easy life. It is a prayer of a man who has decided that God is enough when nothing else is left.

A promise for the dark

"The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit" (Psalm 34:18). And: "I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings" (Psalm 40:1-2).

When your heart is overwhelmed and you have no words of your own, pray David's: "From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I" (Psalm 61:2).

This part matters because many people have been told that becoming a Christian means repeating a particular prayer. Others have prayed such a prayer and wondered afterward whether it "took." It is worth being clear about what the Bible says.

What the Bible records

The Bible does not record a single set prayer that people recited to be saved. What it records is people turning to God in repentance and putting their trust in Jesus Christ, often in very few words. The tax collector: "God be merciful to me a sinner." The thief: "Lord, remember me." Saul: "Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?" The Philippian jailer: "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" (Acts 16:30).

And when people asked what to do, the apostles told them. Paul's message was "repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ" (Acts 20:21). Peter's answer on the day of Pentecost, the first time the question was put to the church, was this:

"Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost." (Acts 2:38)

Paul wrote, "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved" (Romans 10:13). Calling on the Lord is prayer. But it is the call of a heart that has turned, believes and will obey, not a form of words said to secure a result.

Why this matters

It matters in two directions.

First, it means you do not need to get the words right. If you have turned from your sin and trusted Christ, you have done what the Bible asks, whether your prayer was eloquent or broken, long or a single sentence.

Second, it means that saying words is not enough. A prayer recited without repentance and faith is not what the Bible calls coming to Christ. Jesus warned that "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 7:21). The test of a real turning is not the prayer you once said but the Christ you now follow.

What the prayer of a turning heart contains

There is no required script, but a heart that is truly coming to Christ will usually say, in one way or another, these things:

• I have sinned. Not that I have made mistakes, but that I have sinned against God (Luke 15:21; Psalm 51:4).
• I cannot save myself. "God be merciful to me."
• I believe in Jesus. That He is the Son of God, that He died for my sins, and that God raised Him from the dead (Romans 10:9).
• I turn from my sin. Not a promise of perfection, but a real change of direction (Acts 26:20).
• I trust Him alone. Not Christ plus my goodness, but Christ.
• I will follow Him. As Lord, whatever it costs (Luke 9:23).

Here is one way of saying it. It is not magic, and you do not have to use it:

Lord God, I have sinned against You, and I deserve Your judgment. I cannot save myself. I believe that Jesus Christ is Your Son, that He died on the cross for my sins, and that You raised Him from the dead. I turn from my sin. I trust Jesus alone to save me. Lord Jesus, I will follow You. Forgive me, make me new, and give me Your Holy Ghost. In Jesus' name, amen.

What comes next

If you have prayed that from your heart, do what the apostles told new believers to do. Tell a Christian you trust. Find a church that preaches the gospel and ask to be baptized (Acts 2:38; 22:16). Begin reading the Bible and praying every day. The companion papers Becoming a Christian and Ready to Follow Jesus on this site go further.

Mike Shreve told his story on The King Is Coming Show (TKIC #46): a yoga guru with three hundred students until, in his own telling, one prayer ended it all. Watch it in his own words: youtube.com/watch?v=oqAq58bDC4k Mike's account of what happened to him, shared as his testimony — weigh it for yourself.

If you are not ready to pray that

Then do not. God is not honoured by a prayer you do not mean. Pray what you can honestly pray: "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." Or, "Open thou mine eyes." Or the test I prayed myself: if you are real, show me. And keep reading the Gospels. "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you" (Matthew 7:7).

This part matters because when the disciples asked, "Lord, teach us to pray" (Luke 11:1), this is what Jesus gave them. The Shorter Catechism calls it "the special rule of direction" for prayer.⁷ Jesus gave the Lord's Prayer as a pattern, not a formula to recite: "After this manner therefore pray ye" (Matthew 6:9). It shows us how to pray, but the one who prays must seek Him with his own heart: "And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:13).

"After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen." (Matthew 6:9-13)

Notice the first words: "After this manner." Jesus had just warned against vain repetitions. He was giving a pattern, not a charm. (The closing words, "For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever," stand in the King James Bible; most modern versions remove them. See kylelauriano.com/library/changes.)

"Our Father which art in heaven"

Prayer begins with who God is. He is Father: near, caring, the one who gives good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:11). He is in heaven: above us, holy, all-powerful. Both are true at once. For a seeker, these words are not a password to recite. They show the way Jesus taught us to come: to the God of heaven as Father, through Him, seeking Him with your own heart.

"Hallowed be thy name"

To hallow is to treat as holy. Before we ask for anything, we ask that God be honoured. It reorders our desires. Prayer is not first about us.

"Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven"

We ask God to rule, in the world and in us. This is the prayer of surrender. Jesus prayed it Himself in its hardest form in Gethsemane: "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt" (Matthew 26:39).

"Give us this day our daily bread"

Now we ask for what we need. Not for a year's supply. For today. It teaches dependence, and it gives us permission to bring ordinary needs to God: food, rent, work, health. "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you" (1 Peter 5:7).

"And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors"

We ask for forgiveness every day, and we bind ourselves to forgive others. Jesus made the second half sharp: "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matthew 6:14-15). Unforgiveness is a wall in prayer. If someone has wronged you, name them before God, and ask Him for the grace to forgive.

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil"

We ask God to keep us from the test we would fail, and to rescue us from evil and the evil one. Jesus told His disciples in Gethsemane, "Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41).

"For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen"

The prayer ends where it began, with God. The kingdom is His, so we can trust Him with ours. The power is His, so we do not have to have it. The glory is His, so we do not have to earn it. "Amen" means "so be it."

Praying it slowly

One way to use the Lord's Prayer is to pray a line, stop, and put your own life into it. "Thy will be done": in my marriage, in my work, in this decision. "Forgive us our debts": for what I said yesterday. "As we forgive": the person I am angry with. This is not adding to Jesus' words. It is praying them with the understanding.

This part matters because many new Christians are surprised to find prayer hard. They expected that once they believed, it would flow. Often it does not, at first. That is normal. Here are some places to start.

A simple daily shape

You do not need a system. But it helps to have a shape. Many Christians have used something like this:

• Praise. Begin with who God is. "Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name" (Psalm 103:1).
• Thanks. Name what He has done. "Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits" (Psalm 103:2).
• Confession. Tell Him your sins, specifically. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).
• Asking. For yourself and for others. "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God" (Philippians 4:6).

Morning and evening

"My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up" (Psalm 5:3). Jesus Himself, "in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed" (Mark 1:35). Daniel prayed three times a day, even under threat of death (Daniel 6:10).

A morning prayer:

Lord, this day is Yours. Teach me to do Your will. Keep me from sin. Help me to love the people I will meet. Thank You for Your mercy, new this morning.

That last line rests on a promise: "It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23).

An evening prayer, from the Psalms: "I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety" (Psalm 4:8).

Thanks for salvation

"Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases." (Psalm 103:2-3)

Father, thank You for saving me. Thank You that Jesus died for my sins and rose again. Thank You that You have removed my sins from me as far as the east is from the west. I do not deserve it. Thank You.

That last image comes from the same psalm: "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us" (Psalm 103:12).

When you fall

You will. Do not hide from God when you do. "When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long" (Psalm 32:3). And then: "I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin" (Psalm 32:5).

Lord, I have sinned again. I will not hide it. I did this: [name it]. Forgive me, cleanse me, and help me not to do it again. Thank You that Jesus is my advocate.

When you are tempted

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it" (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Lord, I am being tempted right now. Show me the way out, and give me the strength to take it.

For understanding the Bible

"Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law" (Psalm 119:18). Pray it every time you read.

For guidance

"Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day" (Psalm 25:4-5). And when you need wisdom for a decision: "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him" (James 1:5).

For your family and friends

Paul's prayer for his own people is a model: "Brethren, my heart's desire and prayer to God for Israel is, that they might be saved" (Romans 10:1). Pray by name for the people you love who do not know Christ. Pray for them before you talk to them about Him.

For boldness

When the first apostles were threatened, they did not pray for safety. They prayed, "And now, Lord, behold their threatenings: and grant unto thy servants, that with all boldness they may speak thy word" (Acts 4:29).

For strength in weakness

Paul asked three times for a "thorn in the flesh" to be removed. God's answer was no, and then this: "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Lord, I am weak. Let Your strength be made perfect in it.

For love

Paul's prayer for the Ephesians is one of the greatest prayers in the Bible, and it is worth praying for yourself and for others. He asked that they would be "strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith" and that they might "know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God" (Ephesians 3:16-19).

A blessing

And when you want to pray for someone else, you can use the blessing God gave the priests of Israel: "The LORD bless thee, and keep thee: The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace" (Numbers 6:24-26).

A word on unanswered prayer

Not every prayer is answered the way we ask. Jesus' own prayer in Gethsemane, "let this cup pass from me," was answered with the cross. Paul's prayer about his thorn was answered with grace, not removal. James gives two reasons some prayers go unanswered: "ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts" (James 4:2-3). And John gives the shape of confident prayer: "And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us" (1 John 5:14).

No one can promise you that God will give you what you ask, when you ask, in the way you ask. Anyone who guarantees it is not speaking for God. What God promises is better: that He hears, that He cares, that He gives good gifts, and that His grace is sufficient. "Men ought always to pray, and not to faint" (Luke 18:1).

This part matters because prayer grows the way any relationship grows: by daily time together. Here is a simple path for the first forty days, whether you are still seeking or have just come to Christ.

How to use it

Each day has a short passage to read and a focus for prayer. Read the passage first, slowly, in the King James Bible. Pray Psalm 119:18 before you start. Then pray, using the focus as a starting point and your own words for the rest. Ten or fifteen minutes is enough. If you miss a day, do not quit; pick up where you left off. A notebook to write down what you read, what you prayed and anything you noticed will help you see, later, how God has worked.

Days 1–10: Seeking

| Day | Read | Pray | |---|---|---| | 1 | Luke 18:9-14 | For mercy, in the tax collector's words | | 2 | Mark 9:17-29 | Honestly, about your belief and your doubt | | 3 | Jeremiah 29:11-13 | That you would seek Him with all your heart | | 4 | John 1:1-14 | To see who Jesus is | | 5 | John 3:1-21 | About being born again | | 6 | Psalm 139:1-24 | To be searched and known | | 7 | Romans 3:9-26 | About your sin, and about the righteousness God gives | | 8 | Isaiah 53:1-12 | In thanks for what Christ suffered | | 9 | Luke 15:11-32 | As the son who came home | | 10 | Matthew 7:7-11 | Ask, seek, knock |

Days 11–20: Turning

| Day | Read | Pray | |---|---|---| | 11 | Psalm 51:1-17 | Confession, in David's words | | 12 | Luke 23:32-43 | "Lord, remember me" | | 13 | 1 Corinthians 15:1-8 | That you would believe the gospel | | 14 | Acts 2:22-41 | About repentance and baptism | | 15 | Romans 10:8-17 | Calling on the name of the Lord | | 16 | Acts 9:1-19 | "Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?" | | 17 | Luke 9:23-26 | For the willingness to follow, whatever it costs | | 18 | John 6:60-69 | "Lord, to whom shall we go?" | | 19 | Acts 8:26-39 | About obeying Christ without delay | | 20 | John 20:24-31 | That you may believe and have life |

Days 21–30: Learning to pray

| Day | Read | Pray | |---|---|---| | 21 | Matthew 6:5-15 | The Lord's Prayer, slowly | | 22 | Psalm 103:1-14 | Praise and thanks | | 23 | 1 John 1:5-10 | Confession, and thanks for cleansing | | 24 | Philippians 4:4-9 | Bringing every care to God | | 25 | Psalm 13:1-6 | Honestly, from wherever you are | | 26 | Psalm 42:1-11 | When your soul is cast down | | 27 | Matthew 26:36-46 | "Not as I will, but as thou wilt" | | 28 | James 1:2-8 | For wisdom | | 29 | Ephesians 3:14-21 | For yourself and one other person, in Paul's words | | 30 | Psalm 23:1-6 | Trust in the Shepherd |

Days 31–40: Walking with Him

| Day | Read | Pray | |---|---|---| | 31 | Romans 8:1-17 | Thanks for no condemnation and for the Spirit | | 32 | 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 | For strength in temptation | | 33 | Ephesians 6:10-18 | For protection, and for other believers | | 34 | Colossians 3:1-17 | About putting off the old and putting on the new | | 35 | Acts 4:23-31 | For boldness | | 36 | Romans 10:1-4 | For family and friends who do not know Christ | | 37 | Hebrews 4:14-16 | Coming boldly to the throne of grace | | 38 | 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 | When God's answer is grace, not removal | | 39 | Romans 8:28-39 | Thanks that nothing can separate you from His love | | 40 | Jude 1:20-25 | Praise to Him who is able to keep you |

After forty days

Keep going. Read a Gospel through. Read the book of Acts. Read a Psalm a day. Pray every morning and every evening. Find a church and pray with other believers, as the first Christians did (Acts 2:42). The goal was never forty days. It was a life of walking with God.

Augustine, before he came to Christ, prayed one of the most honest prayers ever written down. He wanted God and he wanted his sin, and he said so: "Give me chastity and continency, only not yet."⁸ Years later, weeping in a garden in Milan, he found himself asking a different question: "How long, how long, 'tomorrow, and tomorrow?' Why not now?"⁹ That day he came to Christ.

God heard both prayers. The first was honest, and honesty is where prayer begins. The second was surrender, and that is where it leads.

You do not need the right words. You need to speak to God honestly, through Jesus Christ, and to keep speaking. Start with seven words if that is all you have: "God be merciful to me a sinner." Start with three: "Lord, save me." Start with a test, as I did. He has promised: "The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth" (Psalm 145:18).

An invitation

If this paper has helped you pray, or if you have come to Christ and want to talk about what comes next, write to contact@kylelauriano.com. And if you are still not sure anyone is listening, try this: read the Gospel of John, one chapter a day, and before each chapter pray one line: "Open thou mine eyes." Then see.